[Book Review] Cheese Sex DEATH: A Bible for the Cheese Obsessed

“The miracle of cheesemaking has been attributed to the gods, and even witchcraft.” -Erika Kubick

Cheese sluts around the world unite! I have a special gift for you.

There are times when you, like me, find that you are missing something. Or maybe the better word to use is crave something. You aren’t quite sure what it is you want/need, but you definitely feel the presence of longing. There is a void inside of you.

Perhaps you, like me, find yourself perusing the internet, Netflix, or Amazon to find that thing. Maybe it’s bedtime and you’re scrolling becomes incessant to the point that you lose track of the time.

Look no further, my friends. I have found the thing!

In truth, I am a little goth girl at heart. If my younger, heavy eyeliner wearing self would’ve come into the future and found this on my coffee table, she would be incredibly proud of the person I have become.

To say that Erika Kubick’s Cheese Sex Death: A Bible for the Cheese Obsessed is everything you ever needed in your life is a complete and total understatement. It’s audacious, informative, and kitschy in the best possible way. Is it a tad sacrilegious? Sure. Probably. But like…in a funny way, ya know? (So, please, put down those pitchforks!)

This book is for you if:

• ​You base your life around the belief that cheese is our lord and savior

• Your hobbies involve food

• You like weird, Catholic relating things

• You were once really into the Goth or Emo lifestyle

• You have ever owned a pair of combat boots

• You're mildy interested in cheese and charcuterie

• You want to look cool around all of your edgy hipster friends

• ​You actually do want to read on the history of cheese

• You are lost in life and are looking for a new religion

When we say Bible for the cheese obsessed, the word Bible isn’t just figurative language. The book is organized into The Old Testament of Cheesus and The New Testament of Cheesus

Who is Cheesus? Well, Cheesus was the gift brought to you by immaculate, miraculous, magickal conception. It’s the glorious gift of cheese, and Kubick’s colorful, gothic pages beg you to worship at its altar. Kubick argues that cheese, with its continuous contributions to the world, is indeed a spiritual experience. Truly, after diving into the enlightening pages of this book, you will not disagree.

“That bodily odor, and the accompanying aroma of rot, is reminiscent of our own mortality…. At the same time, cheese also serves as a reminder of resurrection. As it matures, colonies of microbes die off, allowing their successors to consume what’s left of the previous generation. This cycle of rot and rebirth thins the veil between repulsive and the irresistible, resulting in a pleasure of transcendent complexity.”

Not only is it entertaining, it's also legitamately educational. Foodies, chefs, and basically anyone that’s ever had cheese can rejoice! You may actually learn something about food.

The Old Testament of Cheesus

How was cheese first discovered? How has it evolved over time? What kinds of cheeses are there? These are the questions that Kubick answers in The Old Testament. She explores the anatomy of cheese, raw milk vs pasteurized, and even has a take on dairy allergies. (See the chapter titled The Gospel of Truth on Lactose, Dairy Allergies, and Dietary Restrictions.) A quick dive through the type of cheeses gives an excellent break down of how to classify cheese.

The New Testament

This portion of the book is a great reference guide for cheese newbies and experienced cheese mongers alike. How to buy good quality, how to store cheese, how to serve, and even how to taste are all chapters in this New Testament. The ending of the book comes with some recipes that are sure to delight: mac and cheese and baked brie, for example.

All in all, Palette is definitely adding this book to our collection. With its bodacious imagery and excellent prose, this Bible serves as a magnificent resource for anyone looking to deepen their understanding of cheese.

So, go on: Light your black candles, collect your crystals, crack open a great bottle of wine, and (of course) bust out your favorite cheese. This book is one sultry, delicious ride!

Erika Kubick, author of Cheese Sex Death: A Bible for the Cheese Obsessed, is based out of Chicago. She owns a cheese advocacy and events company. She holds many “Church” events dedicated to inspiring Cheese Sluts everywhere to “indulge in their funky fromage fantasies.”

Wanna get your own copy: https://amzn.to/3MFEekg

Order a board from us to go along with your reading: www.paletteww.com/order-online

Check out Cheese Sex Death’s website at: Cheese Sex Death

Erika Kubick on Instagram: Erika Kubick (@erikakubick) • Instagram photos and videos

Sex Death Cheese on Instagram: Erika • Cheese Sex Death (@cheesesexdeath) • Instagram photos and videos